28 Aug
2016
Posted in: parenting
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Tailoring Parenting to My Audience

Our second oldest son and I were driving to his 6th grade orientation last week. His brothers and sister weren’t with us. This was the perfect time to talk one-on-one about heading to middle school. I over-think and prepare for situations. I was going to begin with talking about responsibility before moving into the importance of kindness and bravery before wrapping up with a shortened version of previous talks on drugs, alcohol and sex. I’d given this talk to his older brother two years ago. He had questions about this new chapter, fears and concerns. In my head, J and I were about to experience that same moment.

boy opening school locker

I had forgotten a key part in the discussion. Those brothers are not the same. J was quietly sitting in the passenger seat, and I said the thing that matters most,” Remember how much you’re loved. At the end of a not-so-good day, know that you come home to a safe place where you matter and are ridiculously loved.”

He was looking away from me out the window and simply replied, “I know.”

He and I are different in most every way. He’s reserved and introverted. He’s quiet and uses few words. He doesn’t weave long, drawn-out emotional adjective-filled tales. He tells you simply how it is. I’ve wished countless times that I knew what he was thinking and feeling. He’s not going to freely offer those thoughts and emotions until he believes they’re necessary. That apple fell close to his father’s tree and in a different orchard than mine.

It’s taken me most of his 11 1/2 years of life to not take it personally. Sitting quietly isn’t a sign of something boiling or festering under the surface. It’s not that he doesn’t trust me with his thoughts and feelings. He processes life in a much different way than I and his siblings do.

He’s moving to a school with 500 more people than he’s been with in elementary school. There are lockers and seven teachers. There’s a lot happening in his world. He doesn’t need me to remind him of all the things I’ve said multiple times in multiple ways. He needs to know he has a soft place to land when he needs it. These next seven years are a world of change with the consistency of the family that loves him. There was no long speech from me or questions from him. There was a quiet between us which used to make me feel tense. Last week it felt peaceful. He can handle much more than my worrying heart allows itself to believe.

 


 
No Rose-Colored Glasses for Me
By     |    Aug 18, 2016
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No Rose-Colored Glasses for Me

She told me I was overly sappy. She accused me of looking at parenting through rose-colored glasses. I was told I was crazy for not wanting my kids to head back to school. I’ll admit to being a sap. It’s taken me years to embrace the fact that I’m an emotional person. I have all the feelings all of the time. I’m passionate and a little emotionally volatile. I feel my way through life, and no longer make apologies for... [Read More]

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For the Love of Olympics
By     |    Aug 11, 2016
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For the Love of Olympics

Barcelona 1992. That was when my passion for all things Summer Olympics began. I watched everything I could in those pre-Internet days and stood in the grocery store reading magazine article after magazine article devouring every athlete profile tidbit I could. Gail Devers, Jennifer Capriati, Derek Redman and the basketball Dream Team were brought up in conversation as if they were friends of the family. Not much has changed in 22 years. My passion for the Olympics runs deep, and... [Read More]

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Wandering Through the Summer
By     |    Aug 2, 2016
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Wandering Through the Summer

We’ve spent our summer doing what we do best: wandering. I play the part of responsible adult most of the year, attending meetings, turning work in on time, volunteering, and running kids hither and thither. Summer is for following my gypsy heart. I long for deserted roads stretching to the horizon and open vistas from the mountain tops. I pour over the road atlas and maps looking for the next place to visit. I’m sidetracked by road signs. I constantly... [Read More]

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Learn Something New: Adult Ballet
By     |    Jul 7, 2016
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Learn Something New: Adult Ballet

Each year I make a short list of books to read, places to visit and a new thing to learn. I manage to finish the book list and cross off places we visited. Then there’s the thing to learn. For three years, the new thing has remained the same: take a ballet class. It sits at the bottom of the list with me making no attempts to make it a reality. The excuses piled up. I’m almost 40, surely too... [Read More]

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Parenting the Littles
By     |    Jun 24, 2016
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Parenting the Littles

Something has been missing all week. Someone actually…two someones. Our oldest two sons have been at summer camp this week which is the first time half of the children have been away at the same time. It’s been interesting to see our third son step into the role of oldest for the week. He’s been extremely helpful and attentive to his sister. He’s enjoyed being the leader instead of the one who tags along with whatever his older siblings want... [Read More]

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Travel Wyoming, Collect Free Stickers
By     |    Jun 14, 2016
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Travel Wyoming, Collect Free Stickers

I had a sweet sticker book when I was in elementary school. I collected stickers and carefully placed them in the book, sort of like a sports card collection, but with smelly and puffy stickers. Three summers ago, when we realized the Wyoming Office of Tourism had a free souvenir sticker program available to travelers, I knew we’d have to collect them all. The stickers have a vintage look with muted earth-tone colors and artwork themed for an area in... [Read More]

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Take a Trip: Dinosaur National Monument
By     |    Jun 13, 2016
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Take a Trip: Dinosaur National Monument

This year is the 100th birthday of the National Park Service. There are over 400 entities run by the NPS. I’ll share tips from different National Park Service sites we’ve visited throughout 2016. I have a box of plastic dinosaur figures in various sizes in our basement. Each of the boys went through a dinosaur-loving phase during their toddler years. While they no longer play with the dinosaur figures, they remain intrigued by fossils. The love of fossils comes from... [Read More]

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Mama, They See You
By     |    Jun 6, 2016
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Mama, They See You

I’ll be limping across the finish line this week on the last day of school wrung-out and emotionally drained. Our 5th grader has had A YEAR. I cannot tell you anything specific academically he learned because academics took a backseat this year to some serious life lessons. There have been difficulties in the classroom with another student. There have been laws to study and bureaucracy to wade through. There have been meetings and emails…so many meetings and emails. We seriously... [Read More]

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Our Traditional Summer List
By     |    May 26, 2016
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Our Traditional Summer List

I have to stop looking at my social media feeds for the next two weeks. I have several friends, in and out of state, who already are on summer break from school, and I am jealous. The end is in sight for me but not close enough. We have eight school days remaining this school year. The kids are excited for the field trips and picnics and less-rigorous final days of school, but I’m over it. I want to wake-up... [Read More]

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Take a Trip: Petrified Forest National Park
By     |    May 16, 2016
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Take a Trip: Petrified Forest National Park

This year is the 100th birthday of the National Park Service. There are over 400 entities run by the NPS. I’ll share tips from different National Park Service sites we’ve visited throughout 2016. Petrified Forest National Park is located near Holbrook, Arizona and rivals Wyoming for ridiculous wind. The wind wasn’t mentioned in any of my spring break planning materials. Trust me when I say there should be some sort of asterisk footnote in travel guides warning people that wind... [Read More]

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May Madness
By     |    May 13, 2016
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May Madness

The month of May is when I’m in high-mama gear. Four school-aged children means that on any given weekday from now until the last day of school, someone has a field trip or track or junior Olympics or an assembly or a concert. Some days it’s multiple children requesting a parent make an appearance. If field tripper was a profession, that would be my career in May. The build-up to the end of the school year starts at the beginning... [Read More]

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