21 May
Posted in: parenting
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Preschool Time is Over

I believe Father Time is mocking me. I can hear a voice taunting me to keep up to the pace that’s been set. My breath hitches quite often theses days when these children of mine hit a milestone or some new physical change becomes abundantly obvious, even if I live in denial of anything changing.

I mistakenly believed I was sad about the quick passing of time. While I do think sadness lurks in there somewhere, I’m more in awe of having a bird’s-eye-view of growth and change. I’m honored to have the experience of watching four people grow and learn. There are many who aren’t given the same opportunity.

girl attending preschool graduation

I’m humbled by this parenting journey. There’s so much of parenting that is out of my control. There are more and more moments where I play the role of bystander hoping the work that’s been done on a daily basis with my children shows in the people they’re becoming. I feel a wave of relief each time someone mentions that we have good little people. If Father Time is going to set time on hyperspeed, I hope we’re making the best of the moments at hand. The clock ticks. The calendar changes. I know I’m changing as well. I’m growing older just as the kids do, but I seem to be standing still among this hurricane of change.

None of this is helped by my “baby” graduating from preschool, or being months away from having a teenager living in my home, or this month marking 20 years since I graduated from high school. I can’t do justice with words to what is happening inside of me. If you see me weepy, don’t make eye contact and for heaven’s sake, don’t touch me. Eye contact and hugs will tear down my feeble walls attempting to keep me slightly together.

girl holding preschool diploma

We’ve had one or more children in some form of preschool for a decade. It seems impossible that place will no longer be relevant for my family. There have been so many of my days broken up with drop-offs and pickups to preschool. Yesterday was the last time I’ll do either of those things, and tonight we walked out after the graduation ceremony no longer the parents of a preschooler. It’s strange to close that chapter.

If I thought milestones were difficult to accept with our three boys, the baby is a new deal altogether. She grows and moves on closing doors on pieces of life that will not happen again for our family as it currently stands. One of the boys informed me we now have only big kids, so here’s to this new chapter with a home full of big kids.


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