22 May
2017
Posted in: parenting
By    Comments Off on No Ugly Crying for Me

No Ugly Crying for Me

teen earning an award at school

Warning: I’ve become a spontaneous crier. In fairness to myself, I’ve always been a crier, but lately, my tears seemingly flow on a daily basis. I can’t keep them at bay and really have stopped trying. I’ve promised our children I’ll stop myself before I’m at the ugly cry level, but that’s as much as I can pinkie swear about.

Thankfully, the tears are happy(ish) for the most part. We’re finishing up another school year, my ninth as a mom, and transitioning our oldest from middle school to high school. He’s capable and ready for this next step, but I’m struggling with wrapping my head around the idea that we’ll have a freshman in high school in just 10 days. I don’t know how the math even works for this. I don’t feel old enough to be the mother of a high school student, and I’m pretty sure that kid just learned to walk last month. Time is full of nonsense.

I’m grateful for theses healthy, happy, (slightly hormonal) children. They truly are the best gift and also the most aggravating. Recently I ordered a product that came with directions only in Mandarin. Parenting is like trying to figure out how that tech product worked. There’s a lot of guess work, hoping for the best and praying that what I just did won’t ruin everything.

I watch our four kids and my heart might burst simply from them being mine and just existing. Tell me something good about one of them, and I will cry, just ask several people tonight at the 8th grade award ceremony. I cry for equal parts of joy for whatever they’ve accomplished, relief that others see how fantastic they are and sadness that we’re catapulting through this phase of life at warp speed.

I cannot stop the tears. You probably shouldn’t go in for the hug if I look emotional. Hugging triggers my ugly cry reflex, and I don’t want to break my promise.

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